What do you do when you find out that not everything in life can be nice and sweet and fit into a cookie cutter world like you've thought it should your whole life? When urges turn more into actions and you can't take back something you want. Things grow inside of you like living death. But this death feels so good. YOu cant run from it, it will always follow, it is always there. You begin to love it. You love death! NOt because of hate or fear but because of lust. Pure lust, lust that you can no longer deny. Lust you can only act on. But the action is sure to be pure bliss. But after your fantasy, your dream, the thing you've always wanted has happened...there is nothing left. No where to go. So this brings me to what i've been rambeling about....should i go forth with something that may devistate all that is going for me with a person by doing something i've waited for since i was in highschool or should i leave well enough alone? Do I have a conscience or not?